Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize