I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I want to make a zoo with you.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize