I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
