My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
