If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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