Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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