Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you never un-have a 4some
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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