She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
