She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
