I understand Curling. That high.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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