question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
