Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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