shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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