i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
A bitchslap is in order.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
