I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
