Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
