Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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