She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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