he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
