We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
