there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
