I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize