yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Text me some of your sweat
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
