Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
