i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
