so that wasnt chicken after all
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize