we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
