He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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