Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
