i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Randomize
