You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
