I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
