i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
