She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
