I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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