That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
