You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
