So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
