I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
