My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
