making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
