Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
