let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
