...so i touched it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
