My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
