My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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