'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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