i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
