i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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