i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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