would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
