At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
