We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
