There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Come see our sink grown plant.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
