It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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