So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
