I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
