is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
