why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
