Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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